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Pastor Gets Followers to Believe That His Penis Has ‘Sacred Milk’

After reading this story, you may opt for Jim Jones’ Kool-Aid.

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Jim Jones was a pastor who got his people to drink the kool-aid (which was actually a lethal mix of poison and of the popular beverage) over 30 years ago, when 909 people of his congregation perished.  But after hearing about what this latest pastor got his followers to drink, that “kool-aid” sounds a whole lot tastier.

In Brazil, Evangelical Pastor Valdeci Sobrino Picanto has been arrested for tricking his followers into believing that his magical penis has “sacred milk” in it that can only be released into their mouths, thus giving them an instant connection to the Holy Spirit, according to Vatican Crimes.

Yes. You’ve read that right.

And although I can understand why people are enamored with their spiritual leaders, this takes the cake.

One of the victims in the Vatican Crimes report said:

“He has convinced us that only God could come into our lives through our mouth and that’s why he would do what he did. Often, after worship, pastor Valdeci would take us to where the funds were kept at the back of the Church and asked us to have oral sex with him until the Holy Spirit would come through ejaculation.”

There’s nothing more that needs to be said.


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  • DKHunter

    We should get this clown a job at the White House as King Obama’s pastor.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1444746907 Renee Sears

    Seriously if you are stupid enough to fall for that you just deserve it.

  • geminitwinworld

    you’ve have got to be kidding me!? seriously!? and people really followed this sick and condemed and idiot human being for a spiritual leader? wtf and to those who swallowed the so called holy grail is not to far from the the same cloth he was cut to decieve you so easily.the lawlessness of the world has gone to dog diaria on his worst meal of the day!
    and god has you in his book of “bring your ass here now”! and shall reap the devils wrath which god will hand you on a platinum platter!

  • Daniel

    My feces is made of gold. Any buyers?

  • Susanna Marie Gomez

    Idiot…. lol no he was a lot of things but idiot was NOT one of em! A better word for this guy comes to mind: EVIL. Now the people who blew him and drank his goo are yes PERFECT Idiots! Either way I don’t wanna hang around ANY of em! lol just laugh at em!