Why I Don't Give Out My Phone Number? | The Urban Twist
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Love & Romance

Why I Don’t Give Out My Phone Number?

When it comes to dating these are the guidelines I follow.

Christina Jeter

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When it comes to being asked out, I don’t give out my phone number for the following reasons: I am not that into you, I want to make sure your intentions are honest and I want to make sure I am not just another number in your little black book. So when a guy asks me for my number, I always give out my email, it comes straight to my phone and it lets me know if they are serious about me or just trying to see what they can get out of me.


I use to give out my number but I got tired of the random late night calls about nothing, listening to them breathe on the phone and asking me inappropriate questions that only get answered if you are my gynecologist. When guys refuse to accept my email as a form of contact, then I one, two step, in my Ciara voice because if your intentions are honest, you will make them know no matter the form of contact.

Also, when I am getting to know the guy interested in me, I always ask one of the following questions? Do you have a girlfriend or wife? Are you talking to a bunch of females? What made you want to ask me out? If I can’t get a straight answer as quick as I ask the question, I always assume they are scheming me because like anything you want, you should be willing to work for it and can identify why you want or need it.

Asking someone out is always difficult because you don’t know if they are going to reject you, so I always take people’s feelings into consideration, but don’t take my kindness for weakness because you are going to truly see how cruel I can be!

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Lifestyle

Jay-Z’s 4:44 Is What Every Cheater Needs To Hear

It looks like Jay-Z has finally come clean, publicly, about his extramarital affairs. This is the process of becoming a better person and being accountable.

Negra With Tumbao

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Jay-Z has been relatively quiet with reference to his “alleged” extramarital affairs. Until now. According to various websites including Bossip, Jigga speaks, through his music, about his fear of almost losing his family, his arrogance regarding his disceptive behavior and what Beyonce means to him.


He is being accountable for being a fucked up husband to his wife while being watched by the world. Yes, it will sell records but it will also bring Jay-Z under public scrutiny.

Jay-Z

I’m not necessarily empathetic to the reactions and talk which his admission will elicit. This, simply,  paints him in the “ain’t shit” light we’ve known already existed. He is just, openly, coming clean about it.

There are those folks that will feel like this is something that should stay between him and Bey. I don’t share that sentiment.

He, openly, disrespected and humiliated her even and it seemed that like everybody was abuzz with gossip and opinions. Even “Becky with the good hair” tried to throw shade at Queen Bey but the Beyhive tore that wench a new ass. CACKLING

Beyonce, never, addressed the indiscretions directly. However, Mrs. Carter released a cathartic album which delved into the pain of being betrayed by a man.

Jay-Z

Now, I’m not here to speak on what Beyonce should have done with reference to HER marriage. Everybody has their dealbreaker. Jay-Z, I’m sure has paid the piper many times over.

I CAN speak on accountability. I’ve had an extensive conversation with MY own cheating husband about this very subject. My anger wasn’t directed at Tuna so much as my husband’s deception. So as much as I had been like,  “Fuck her, too!” , my husband’s inability to be accountable for what he did was my pain point.

We, often, speak about accountability in a billowy, abstract manner. We speak about it like it gives the best fucking high on Earth. Be accountable. It’ll make you feel good.

All of that is bullshit. Accountability isn’t designed to be the “quicker picker upper”. In fact, when people are sincerely accountable for the trangressions they’ve committed against their loved ones- they should feel shitty as hell. I’m talking about tossing and turning, can’t sleep, soul hurts from the inside out type of shitty.

I have discovered that people will apologize not because they are truly sorry for what they’ve done. They apologize so the injured party can stop being angry at them. Even though said anger is, rightfully, deserved and earned. It is still about THEM and what they need. It’s the reason why I don’t accept my husband’s many apologies.

Naw, papito! You may be sorry but I don’t care. I’m not here to make you feel better.

Jay-Z

The real goal of being accountable is to sit in your shit regardless if the person chooses to leave or not. Yes. Marinate in the chaos and damage which that infidelity caused. This is not about an opportunity for redemption. It’s about becoming a better person by making better choices. It’s about being self-aware of what’s at stake when bad decisions are made.

I believe Jay-Z is learning that. My husband? I’m not so sure but I hope so.

Another aspect of accountability in marriage and relationships is offering full disclosure. Speak to what you did. Come clean about the shit you wouldn’t normally say out loud. That’s major!

Whatever was done wrong publicly, make it right publicly. It says a lot about a person’s character when he/she can say to the world, “Hey. I fucked up a good thing. This person didn’t receive my best and that’s not cool. I am not worthy of this person but if given another opportunity, I will spend my days making it up to this person!”

This in no way guarantees that the affected person will forgive, forget, stay or want to hear any part of what’s being said. But it’s what needs to be done if accountability is the goal.

Jay-Z, obviously, knows that he is better with Bey than without her and is willing to put it all on the line….

And make a few coins while he’s at it.

Well-played, Hov… Well-played!

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Love & Romance

Are You Being Undervalued in Your Relationships? 5 Way to Tell if You’re Being Taken for Granted.

Relationships can get complicated when one person is always taking the other for granted. 5 ways to tell if you are being undervalued in your relationships.

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Love and friendship can be a very complicated thing. We’d like to pretend that relationships are 50/50 but we all know that it’s untrue. In fact, in any relationship, the balance may be more 60/40 and sometimes even 70/30.


Typically, there is always someone who wants it more, is more willing to say I’m sorry first, more willing to work on problems. Are you being taken for granted by those who claim to care for you?

It is rare that two people meet and come to the table with equitable efforts, finances or even time. In the worse relationships concessions are made until one person feels overwhelmed and unappreciated Sadly, it’s not uncommon for a person to stay in a relationship where they feel undervalued or taken for granted. It’s not even uncommon for someone to stay in a relationship where they feel worthless and unworthy of their partner.

Too many people attempt to jump through invisible hoops to please someone who will never be pleased with them, sometimes they aren’t even pleased with themselves.

Have you been giving too much to someone who doesn’t appreciate it? Don’t be ashamed to admit it to yourself, we all have undervalued our worth at one point in time. Just because we have allowed someone to treat us less than in the past does not mean we have to continue that behavior. Do you think you’re being undervalued and taken for granted?

Here are 5 ways you can tell if you’re being taken for granted in your relationships.

Are you always the first to call or reach out?

It’s important to notice if you’re the person who always initiates contact with a friend or lover. No matter how busy someone is, if you are important to them they will make time. Do not fall for the “was caught up” or “too busy” lines. Do not make anyone a priority in your life who has not done the same for you.

Does this person take interest in your hobbies and interests?

Are you spending time with someone who likes to “Netflix and chill” instead of going out? Is it someone who loves to talk about themselves but rarely seems to hear your problems? When you speak do you feel like they are listening and care about the things that matter to you? How often does your friend or lover suggest things for you to do together that align with your core interests and values? If the time you spend with a person is filled with them selfishly talking about themselves or you two doing things they enjoy, while ignoring your interests, get out. You’re more than a tag along or someone to keep them company. You have hobbies and interests too and someone who values you would want to listen to you and explore what you find enjoyable.

Do you have that friend/lover who is always looking to you to make things comfortable for them?

If you cook for the two of you, do they do the dishes? If you invite them over are they constantly asking you to wait on them like a servant. Do they always need a ride, a babysitter or financial assistance? How often does this person offer to do small things for you just because? Can you call them when you’re in a bind? If you have a friend who calls you to bail them out of trouble all the time and when around, wants to be pampered, remind them you’re not a maid nor chauffeur. If you can’t call them in a bind to do the very things they ask of you, drop them. You deserve better relationships.

Can you take them at their word?

This is very important and probably should have been number one on the list. People who undervalue you and your worth may lie to you.  Many will find it easier to tell you a lie that keeps you in a place of doubt, questioning yourself and your place in their life, than tell you a truth that will empower you to move on. There are narcissistic people in this world who could care less who they hurt with their lies as long as their needs are met. Beware of these type people. They will use and abuse your heart and relationships, they will drain you mentally. If you’re dealing with someone who you constantly have to question, get out. It isn’t worth and they don’t respect you.

Does this person put you down?

Does your lover or friend say mean things to you? When you’re having a bad day, do they try to encourage and uplift you or are they there kicking you while down? There are some who prey on people who enjoy beating others done mentally and emotionally. They love playing mind games, strong people are a challenge to them, they revel in the games they play in an attempt to break them down. Does your friend or lover tell you you’re useless or worthless? Do they ever say no one else will ever want you? Are you subjected to mean jokes and ridicule? This person has no respect for you and doesn’t care about you, get out.

It’s not easy to walk out of a bad situation but it’s necessary. We can’t allow other people and their issues to destroy us. WE get so attached to another individual and s caught up in not being alone, we tend to forget there are literally billions of people in the world. Don’t allow yourself to spend your life around negative, mean-spirited, ungrateful people. You’re amazing and you deserve to be surrounded by people who know it. Stop cheating yourself.

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Love & Romance

How Far Are You Willing to Go to Trick Someone Into Liking You?

Makeup, fake beard, butt pad panties, and fake camel toes. How far will you go to trick someone into liking you?

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makeup is the devilmakeup is the devil

There is an overwhelming amount of fakeness in today’s dating world. It’s time to question, how far will you go to trick someone into dating or sleeping with you. I can remember when people took pride in being liked for who they were. This generation and its social media and technology, have mastered the art of pretending to be something they’re not so much, they expect it in real life as well.


You can edit photos, but you can’t edit your real life to fit the lies you’ve been telling; or can you? Today, anything you don’t have you can buy, including an ass, eye lashes, hair, a camel toe, a beard. I know I sound like I’m saying redundant things but I’m not. Today you can find a how to video on YouTube on everything from applying false lashes to applying a beard to a man’s face as one would attach hair to a head.

 

fake

fake ass shit

 

Girls are actually running around tricking men into thinking they have phat pum pums by wearing ridiculous “camel toe panties” that come with the impression of a large camel toe. I’d guess it’s meant to attract men, funny because when I was growing up, I always tried to wear a shirt that covered my crotch area if I was wearing tight pants. Who wants weirdos staring at their crotch.

pum pum

I used to think it was bad when women used makeup to change the dimensions and colors of their faces but I figured, hey, women have been doing the makeup thing forever. Now men are wearing makeup, getting their brows done, wearing fake hair from their heads to their beards and have more chemicals than a woman.

 

smh

smh

 

Women meet men at the club and then have to get undressed in the dark, hoping he’ll still like her once her measurements change. I wonder what it’s like to have to put a guy out every time you hook up so he doesn’t see what you look like when you deconstruct. It’s not like they can sleep with the face full of makeup, wigs and weave, push up bra, camel toe panties and spanx they have used to trick him. How can you even enjoy sex when you’re worried your body parts or hair will fall off?

makeup is the devilmakeup is the devil

makeup is the devil

 

What happened to people respecting themselves enough to not want anyone who wasn’t attracted to them? Social media has made being attractive a worldwide competition. I remember when we only competed with our neighbors and people we knew personally. These days people want to look better, be more popular than and appear more well off than people they’ll never even meet.

is this fair?

is this fair?

 

There was even a woman using makeup to trick men into thinking she had cleavage on a video circulating social media a few weeks back.

It’s a never-ending cycle of jealousy and self-hate being replayed over and over. Camel toe panties, spray on hair, waist trainers, face contouring, all of these things are worn or done to hide who you really are. Do you hate yourself that much? What happens when the person sees the real you? Do you let anyone close enough to even know what you look like, let alone who you really are?

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