To hate or not to hate? This is a question that has baffled human behavior for ages. Why do we hate? Why is it so easy to hate? and So hard to love. Well, here is my reason. My hatred started the day that my brother and sister taught me how to ride a bike. To my surprise the bike had no brakes. So since then I have used hatred as a defense mechanism. With that said, defense is the reason for hatred. We as human beings must protect ourselves from that which is unreasonable, unlogical, and stupid as shit! This why we hate, because some shit just does not make sense. Here is the Hate List!
1. I hate to see an old man with gray cornrows or braids. That is about the dumbest thing I have ever seen. I do not want a cool grandfather. Grandfathers are not suppose to be cool. They are to be respected. They are suppose to wear their pants well above their waist line. They are suppose to tell the same jokes over and over again. This is why we love and respect them. I CAN NOT! respect a 75 year old man sitting between someones legs getting cornrows put in his head. That is asinine.
2. I hate that my ex-girlfriend use to leave the toilet seat up. Strange bird she was. I guess I shouldn’t complain too much, the nuisance was when she would leave pee on the toilet seat. Ughhhh!
3. I hate the funeral paparazzi. Funeral paparazzi are people that take pictures at funerals. This right here bothers the hell out of me. I was sitting at my family members funeral and this guy was taking pictures of the decease in the casket. I don’t know about you people out there but I hate seeing pictures of myself being caught of guard. And to think of someone taking a picture of me dead, they are sick bastards. This is a sick act.
4. I hate supermarkets that show you only the sale prices of an item if you buy more than one. You go to buy one can of chicken noodle soup, the sales ad reads, ” Save when you buy 4 cans of soup.” They never reveal the actual cost of the one can of soup. I don’t want 4 damn cans. I want one. I hate he damn supermarket and their dumbass self check out lines. The machine never scans the barcode quickly.
5. I hate when I fall asleep all hugged up with my girlfriend and then wake up to a numb hand. I feel the numbness in the middle of the night, as I try to figure out why my hand is numb, I discover that it is HER BIG ASS HEAD cutting off the circulation to my hand. Since we are in a committed relationship sometimes I feel compelled to tough it out. Other times I snatch my arm from under her big ass head.
6. Speaking of numbness. I hate when my leg goes numb while sitting on the toilet. This is pure pain. This is your body telling you that you sat down to long. First, leg goes numb. Second, you get that feeling that spikes are being pushed into your leg or foot with every move you make. Third, you muster up enough courage to stand up then come to the conclusion while you are standing that this was a bad idea. Last, you stand still for about 10 minutes while waiting for the numbness to go away. There is alot of toilet talk in this hate list. I wonder where I write my hate list. hmmmmmmmm
7. I hate how people say they are turning over a new leaf. But you find that they are still standing under the same dumbass tree.
8. I hate my brother for encouraging me to eat those lead paint chips when we were younger. He told me that they were magically delicious.
9. I hate when someone ask me for my number. As soon as I start to give it to them they say, hold up I am not ready yet. Then I wait. Then they ask me how to spell my name. Then they ask me for your number again.
10. I hate clowns. Prior to watching the movie “It”, I loved the clowns at the circus. I thought they were funny and silly. Then Stephen King introduce me to “Pennywise”. Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus has not seen me since. Damn You Pennywise. Damn You. That’s it I am done. I can’t take that picture. See you later.