This Hate List is a result of the counter productive people in my life. I have a hard time being productive when someone is standing over my shoulder. Meaning I hate the person that walks up behind me while I am on the computer. I hate that they try to look at my screen to see what I am doing. I hate that they may try to be polite and ask what am I doing. I hate that their body radiates heat toward my body within seconds, after they have already bypass my response and proceeded to look at my screen. I hate you shoulder over looker and your annoying ass body odor. Even if your odor is a good smell, I hate that damn smell due in part to your counter productive antics. In my favorite Yoda voice “Douche Bag You Are”.
1. I hate the person that asked to borrow my pen and after they had it for a split second, they begin to put it in their mouth or chew on the pen top. You Rick Rude Bastard.
2. I hate that the word “Bitch” validates any sentence or argument. i.e Can you please come and help me pick-up these clothes BITCH?; What you think about Adam? Man, he a BITCH!; What happen last night? Let me tell you what this BITCH did. My point is, the word bitch is absolute just like the number zero.
3. I hate the smell of syrup. I hate people that smell like syrup. I hate that I distinctly remember the three kids I did not want to sit next to in school. There was The Syrup kids, The Pee Pee kids, and The Dirty House Kids. Now if you got the holy trinity of stinky kids, which is all three of those kids wrapped in one, you were likely to vomit in your mouth all day long.
4. I hate people that don’t pick up their damn feet when they walk. I hate the sound of their feet sliding across the ground. That is the laziest shit ever.
5. I hate my blind date the other night. The sunglasses, the cane, and the dog, talk about overkill. What a needy chick!
6. I hate flat sheets on beds. The flat sheet really has no purpose. It kinda like a semicolon. we know that it is there, but we rarely use it. Comma splices rule, and flat sheets suck ass.
7. I hate that Statler and Waldorf don’t get the props they deserve.
8. I hate the guy that punk me out the other day. I was looking at his girlfriend, because she was bad as a mickey flicky. So he approach me and stated, ” what the hell you looking at her for”. I saw that this dude was large enough to kick my ass twice all at once, so I decided to pull my punk ass card. I jumped in front of his girlfriend with my finger in her face and I said, “Hoe I’ll take your man! Right out the box and put him under my padlock.”
9. I hate that they both kick my ass. But if you remember that the dude counts as two asswhipping, so I actually got my ass whip three times all at once.
10. I hate the two gay men I saw holding hands and kissing as they walked down the street. I do not hate them because they are gay, but them bastards had the nerve to have on the same damn outfit. I hate couples that wear the same damn outfits. Matter of fact I hate anyone that wears the same outfit on purpose. That is some exquisite bullshit.