The Hate List: Buying Condoms…


Why do I hate?  Well to put it as simply as possible, some shit is just stupid. On the other hand it is a natural course of action that must take place in order for us to come to the final solution of Love.  We are given these days on Earth to achieve as much as we can. So many of us waste days, nights, months, and even years stuck in stupidity.  As you can tell I am anti-stupid shit.  I make light of so many things in my life but….. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.. I hate that some of you were caught up in that intro. I hate because I hate.  And I hate your clown ass for still reading up to this point.  Here is the Hate List!

1. I hate in sports when the losing team makes the piss poor statement of “We Beat Ourselves”.  Talk about poor sportsmanshit.  I hate that this comment gives no credit to the winner of the game.  If I was the winning coach, I would just reply, ” That damn scoreboard does not say Kansas vs Kansas you smuck ass Bastard”


2. I hate going to one of those family restaurants and hearing the happy birthday song.  LAME! If any of my family or friends did that for me, I would karate chop them in the forehead then baptize them in monkey fecal matter.  Shout to the homeless man that gave me that one.

3. I hate waiting for old people to pull out of their parking spot at WalMart.  I hate waiting for anybody to pull out of a parking spot at Walmart.  I also, hate that I feel like a stalker as I follow them through a crowded parking lot as they walk to their car.  The things I do for a parking spot.

4.  I hate seeing an adult not hold their kids hand when they are by a busy street. That shit erk’s the hell out of me. Independence is one thing but he’s two and that car is flying pass him. Take care of your kids you f@ck face.

5.  Going back to WalMart. I hate WalMart. I hate that I go there for one thing. I hate that  I leave there with everything.   I hate that when I get home I realize that I brought a whole lot of nothing.  Rollback pricing my ass.


5. Another tale of the “Homeless Wars “.  I hate the homeless lady who I walk pass everyday.  I hate that she says some of the wildest shit ever. I hate that she told my coworker and I, in her Weezy Jefferson voice, that we look like a lovely couple. Then she looked at my co-worker and asked, “so are you going to blow him later on tonight”.  My co-worker Tommy was so mad.

6.  I hate people that want to talk or preach to me about the things that I eat. I hate that they always want to point out what’s wrong with the food and how it is bad for me. I just say to them, “look I find it a little hard to take advice from someone with a cold sore. Which lets me know that somewhere down the line you did not make the best decisions about what you put in your mouth”.

7. I hate having to transfer money at the last minute to avoid overdraft charges. The banks are still robbing us. They get you even more when you have direct deposit. I hate that I have had, on more than one occasion, my entire pay check go to the bank.  I hate that sometimes I end my direct deposit, so the bank will not get my whole paycheck.   Irresposnible spending why do I indulge in thee.

8. I hate buying condoms. I hate it because the lint licker behind the counter always goes for the Magnum box. I hate that I always have to say, “no not the black and gold box but the one below it”. I know my limitations.  I go to the store to buy condoms not sleeping bags.

9. I hate Mcdonalds Sweet Tea.  They should rename it to Diabetes in a Cup.

10. I hate that most people never take 5 minutes out of their day to reflect on how beautiful and meaningful their life is. No matter what the circumstance, be grateful.