Tyra Banks Tackles Books

I was so ready to sit down and write about some important shit. Obama finally released his revised drug policy in the beginning of the week. That was almost immediately followed by a story by the Associated Press about how the War on Drugs has not only failed to meet any of its goals, but has even made things worse. Great, I think, this could give me enough to write about for a week. And then I came across a story about Tyra Bank’s novel, Modelland, and her new publishing deal getting her own imprint, Bankable Books, through Random House. It’s left me obsessed, unable to focus on anything else—even the issues that are closest to my heart.

Look, I ain’t Bryan Stewart. I’m not trying not to hate on anyone, but I know for a fact that I’m not the only struggling writer out there shaking his head. I suspect there are more than a few writers out there who pulled their dusty manuscripts out of their sock drawers and cried over them, at least a little.

I feel their pain. We slave for years writing, workshopping and editing our masterpieces only to have them ignored or rejected by agent after agent, publisher after publisher. Meanwhile, people not even known for their writing can pen a three book megadeal and start their own imprint based on name recognition alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one to judge a book by its cover, not even literally. For all I know, Tyra’s been holding out on us. So far, she’s only shared her beauty, her fashion savvy, her business acumen and her charm. Maybe she felt that to share her writing talent too soon would just be too much for the American public. Our heads would just implode under the power that is Tyra. Or maybe she’s a supervillain, and this is all part of her plan to take over the world…

I suspect that’s not the case. As a matter of fact, I would guess that Tyra’s fantasy tale of super-heroine models was some pot-fueled idea that popped into her head one day, one of those ideas that the rest of us would look at later and think, man, how high was I? Of course, Tyra looked at it and thought, Supermodelheroes? That’s the future of publishing! Then she probably turned it over to some ghostwriter we may never hear about to actually turn the idea into bankable literature. In any case, it’ll probably still be better than that horribly written Twilight crap.

I dunno. Maybe Tyra can, in fact, single-handedly save the publishing industry. In a way, I hope she does. I have my own dusty, tear-stained manuscript tucked neatly away in my sock drawer that I still hope to publish one day. Hey Tyra, if you’re reading this and you want to add a touch of dangerous, sexy intellectualism to your new imprint, look me up. Do I have a novel for you.

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