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Top 10 of Who Should Call It Quits in R&B!

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Here is a Top 10 list of Who Should Call It Quits in R&B.  Now many of you have read the hip hop top 10 list, so it would only be right to create one for R&B. Some still almost  have it and other are washed the F up!  Here is the list of “singers and groups Who Should Just Hang That SHIT Up!

Number 10 on the list is someone that I grew up with and still love to listen to some of her older hits, Monica. I know, I know she got a new one out, but look I don’t give a shit. Ms. Monica has always made it seem like we owe her something.  NO! We owe you nothing.  You isolated us from you and now you want us to take you back.  Beat It and bow out gracefully like you did so many years ago. It is time to HANG THAT SHIT UP!

Number 9 on the list is New Edition or as I like to call them Old Edition. I really have a problem with the way these mo fo ‘s are still singing there old hits.  I have a problem with them singing Mr. Telephone man in a technologically advance country. I have a problem with their BET performance last year.  They were fat, they did not sound good, and they still try to include Bobby Brown in their shit. Look, Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike, and Johnny (who I hate even more for being a member of LSG, Johnny Gill you will so be on the next Hate List) and Ralph,  walk away from R&B while you still can walk. Buildings start to shake, (clap clap) I do a double take, did you get it yet, get it yet HANG ! THAT ! SHIT! UP!

Number 8 on the list is Mariah Carey. The song about Eminem was cute, but seriously you are washed up.  You are washed up because you married Nick Canon. WTF! You are washed up because the diva shit is overrated.  You..Are.. Done..HONEY!  I can’t remember any of your last 5 albums, nor do I care to hear that garbage. Mimi HANG THAT SHIT UP! And why did you wait until you turned 40 something years old to give yourself a nickname like MiMi.

Number 7 on the list is Brandy.  Please just stop. You are one of those people that in order to save your career you need a movie role where you show your breast or you are a drug addict.  Brandy we know you have been through a lot in the pass couple years, so we understand it is hard to get back in the swing of things. But when your less talented  brother becomes the superstar in your family it is time to HANG THAT SHIT UP!  Also, Ray J would have made the list but he never had a career in R&B. His shit was just wack.

Number 6 on the list is Chris Brown.  I hate the way you dance. I hate the way your lil funky ass feet move.  And you stole Trey Songz “I Invented Sex” concept for you wack ass video. I know Trey stole R.Kelly whole style, but we are not talking about him. You can’t take his video, put it in color and think that we will not notice it is the same shit. You bit Rihanna……. Enough said. Now that is some Bull Shit. You can’t beat up a women and then sing a love song. If we forgive you then that means we are in a domestic violence relationship with you. And every time you do something wrong we will forgive your dumb ass.  Chris, it is time to dance your lil ass out the spot light and HANG THAT SHIT UP!

Number 5 on the list is Fantasia. We love your story, we love that you won American Idol, my mother even voted for you.  Yeah, yeah my mother that’s who. But sweety you sound like a dying cat when you sing.  I think you should go over to gospel music.  In gospel they clap for everyone.  That may be a better fit for you. If you don’t do that, then  HANG THAT SHIT UP!

Number 4 on the list is a double hitter, or should I say triple hitter. All former Destiny child members excluding Beyonce. But do I really have to exclude her? Because she was Destiny Child.  And did any of you ever notice that it was Destiny’s Child and not Destiny’s Children. Matthew Knowles set them girls up from jump. He put the group’s name in singular form and not plural. I’m just saying! Anyway,  Kelly Rowland we love you, we want you to really really make it, but your just not doing it in this country. Go over seas and stay.  Michele blah, blah, blah. HANG THAT SHIT UP!  You can’t make it in gospel. (note to Fantasia I stand corrected not everyone can make it in gospel.)  Latoya, oh Latoya…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh. I always loved you please be mine.  Sorry, back to the list.  Latoya please just do the cover of KING magazine so I can sleep well at night. As for your albums HANG THAT SHIT UP!  You will win me back if you do KING.

Number 3 on the list is R. Kelly. Please refer to my hate list on R. Kelly.   Basically, or as you silly knee grows say, basic lee. Robert you started singing songs about bull shit, you allowed Trey Songz to come and take your style (minus the bathroom break on a young girls face) and, you remind me of a dirty old man or the bastard that use to come to my middle school and get all the young girls because you were older. .  R. Kelly go the “F” away and HANG THAT SHIT UP IN ONE OF THOSE CLOSETS THAT YOUR DUMBASS KEEP JUMPING OUT OF.

Number 2 on the list is Janet Jackson.  Janet you have been one of the greatest entertainers of all time.  Which puts you into the legend category, but your track record over the pass decade has been, how shall I say, piss poor.  The boob thing with the white boy.  You still giggle like a 12 year old kid and you are like 50.  You dated Jermaine Dupree. WHAT! and last but not least your songs have lost there luster.  Sorry Ms. Jackson,  HANG THAT SHIT UP! Matter of fact I don’t want to hear anything from any Jackson. Not Tito, not Jermaine, not Rebbie, not Randy, not Latoya, not Jackie, not Jesse, not Marlon, not Freddie, not any of them.

Number 1 on the list is Whitney Houston.  Whitney I have no sympathy for someone that ruins their life with drugs. That is just me. You sound awful, you look suspect, and you your story just does not add up.  We wanted to pull for, but your shit is raggedy.  You destroyed yourself Boo Boo, and your future or what is left of it. And it is the direct result of your selfish  habits and behaviors.  I am sorry but Whitney HANG THAT SHIT UP AND LIP SYNC THE REST OF YOUR CONCERTS SO PEOPLE CAN GET THEIR MONIES WORTH!   Being a diva is pretty shitty in the end. Plus, just look at what the “F” you did to Bobby Brown. He was carving out a pretty nice career in R&B before he hooked up with you.

Honorable Mention: Jaheim you almost made the list but your last song saved your ass. T-Pain, your fat ass and that auto tune shit is almost done. Omarion I really don’t know what to say, “you tried, you failed.”  Ruben Studdard another American Idol failure, damn man, you can sing . What the hell is wrong with you? Ginuwine, Lisa Raye almost F’d you family life up. Remaining members of TLC your done. Toni Braxton, what the hell are you doing acting like a Cougar?  Come on baby. Hang that shit up. Christina Milian you made your rounds with the whole industry and your albums were the worst. You are lucky so many came before you on the list.  Trey Songz for stealing R. Kelly’s style. Drake! Dude, you know, that I Know that you know, that I know, that you can’t sing.  Ciara you are knocking on the door of “Hang That Shit Up.”  Keyshia Coles I really don’t know what to make of you. Can you sing or not? You have one more try in my eyes.  Amerie  HANG THAT SHIT UP!    Tank and Tyrese, boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you two were close.  Master P. ,Lil Romeo, and Bow Wow just because I forgot to put ya’ll on the Top 10 Who Should Call it Quits in Hip Hop.   See you next week for Top 10 of Who Should Call It Quits in Entertainment.

Written by Bryan Stewart

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