Chris Hicks wants the young people to think before they enter a relationship. He wants them to think while in one. And wants them to think while exiting one. While his message may be simple, it holds a lot of meaning and is something that is so often overlooked. Humans are emotional creatures and often times, we leap before we look. Author Chris Hicks wants to change all of that so next time you won’t be jumping into a wall.
He wrote the book “Think” to be an everyday guide on how a relationship should be handled. And reminds the young people that every action has consequences and encourages them to use their brain for what it was intended for and that is to “Think”.
Brennen: What was your motivation?
Chris Hicks: My daughter…my daughter’s five and the way I look at it is that there’s different generations and the generations are raised differently from one another. Even a generation as recent as my generation which graduated high school in ’97, ’98, ’99…compare that to the young people today and there’s no comparison. The reason for the book is to give the younger people a positive message. You don’t have too many people in the city right now pushing this kind of message. And I’m right there in the places that the young people frequent…I’m in the clubs…I’m in the streets, well not the actual streets (laughing)…I’m right there amongst their entertainment circles pushing this message. I always see or hear about authors out there pushing their street novels, but I never see someone push or even try to illustrate the benefits of building healthy relationships. Or how to build up strong families and the importance of role models. That would be my motivation.
Brennen Jones: So would it be fair to say that your reason behind “Think” is the lack or the perception there of our fathers in Black communities?
Chris Hicks: In certain communities you don’t see that many strong Black father-type figures or authoritative people period. That’s why young folks turn to drugs. That’s why they turn to sex and always seem to be on the search for love and affection in all the wrong places. When the only people the youth see doing “something” with their lives happens to be drug dealers and people like that. They aspire to be them. When you see your local drug dealer pushing a Benz and getting money along with the girls that come along with it, it’s easy to wanna be like them. In some neighborhoods, drug dealers out number fathers probably 20 to 1 and I don’t mean “good” fathers, I mean fathers period.
Brennen Jones: You’re trying to remove the “player” culture from our youth?
Chris Hicks: It’s hard because with a lot of these kids, that’s all they know. They see it everyday so they think nothing of it. I’m not trying to be harsh, but in a lot of instances they are products of this culture themselves with the result of their mothers being played. At some point the cycle has to be broken. It’s a struggle that I know I most likely will not win but I know that I can reach a few of those affected with this book.
Brennen Jones: So how long did it take you to get your ideas toegether? Was it a process that you kind of had going for quite some time? Taking notes from your own personal experiences?
Chris Hicks: I always wanted to write a book about relationships. When I started writing, I actually didn’t have an idea. The concepts were that I wanted to write everything in order. I started from the beginning from when they first meet each other. Then I wanted to go through the whole dating process, the ins-and-outs of relationship to the point to where they may start to think about settling down. I also try to tie my issues and my experiences into the book also; to see the mistakes that I have made. There’s different concepts such as how a woman thinks versus this situation against that situation. There’s a lot in this book but I basically try to do it from beginning to the end, from dating to getting married.
Brennen Jones: I see that in your book you describe how you came from a two parent household. Did you have close family and friends growing up that you witnessed how it was for them coming from a single parent household and compared their situation to yours? Was that ever a basis for your book?
Chris Hicks: I would say that I grew up in a middle class type neighborhood and the majority of the families and friends that I associated with in my neighborhood actually had both parents in their household.
Brennen Jones: You mention in your book several ways on how you should shift your focus from being attracted to the physical first; to switching gears and concentrating on that person’s mentality. You talk about creating an understanding first before the relationship should even get physical.
Chris Hicks: People focus on the physical first because it’s what’s most obvious. It’s the first thing that we see. I see and know that I’m attracted to you first before anything else. The book illustrates ways for the youth to see that once you get past the obvious attraction you have for that person, you seriously have to break down the mental ASAP! And don’t wait too long to do it. Time is really of the essence because you don’t want to waste all of your time on someone with whom their mental state isn’t compatible with yours. I know that this is simple stuff and a lot of it is common sense but I’m really trying to hammer this stuff home with our young folks. This burden really falls on the women mostly. Some men…and women, but mostly men depending on their intentions, the physical is everything and the mental doesn’t mean much or as much as it does for the woman. That’s why it’s important for the woman to gauge the situation properly, because most cases she’s held accountable even though it’s not necessarily right.
Brennen Jones: You pretty much sum it up with your views on rejection. You say that “there’s a millions of women in this world and you can get one of them.” You pretty much say just move on to the next one. Why do you feel that rejection is such a huge problem when trying to build a relationship?
Chris Hicks: Let’s say that for Christmas that you wanted an Xbox360. You really wanted it but you didn’t get it. That’s what it’s like in relationships. You really want certain things out of your mate and then when you don’t get what you want, you’re hurt by it. Some of those things are warranted. Some are not. The key is to recognize what things are necessary or needed in a relationship. If those things aren’t there, you have to get over it and move on to the next one if the rejection persists. There’s too many women out here to be stalking women and all that crazy stuff. Just get over it, and move on to the next one.
Brennen Jones: You kind of sound like Hitch right now.
Chris Hicks: (laughing) I actually never heard that before.
Brennen Jones: Your book is definitely an easy read and I think a lot of young people should read it. There are some valid points that could and should be picked up.
Chris Hicks: Actually, I don’t read that much. But I love reading about women. I love reading about how to make money and business management type books. Things that I could use. Like you said the book is an easy read. It’s not that long. I use basic scenarios that we can all use. I try to make it easy for them. I’m really going hard at the youth with this message and this book. It’s clearly catered to them and I hope that the message is well received.