Today’s hate list is brought to you by the MisEducation of a woman’s understanding of why their man loves strippers. This a letter to women. Dear ladies of the world, we men love to see women dance half naked and fully naked, degraded themselves, and show us fake ass attention, which we believe we do not get at home. It is your fault. Do the little things. Every once and while show your man that you 2 deserve those ones. Next time he comes home be there with a sexy thong and rain-boots on. Make sure he has your full undivided attention. Eye contact is a must. Make him want to know what it is you will do next. Then when he is good and ready. ……… Never-mind this could end really bad for some fellas out there. I can’t do this. I hate myself for telling my girlfriend that I go to see strippers because she does not have the necessary assets to make it clap. I hate that her response was,” do you remember the one time that I made it clap? I stopped after I finish my medication you dirty d!ck bastard!” I hate that she can’t just let go of some of the little things that I do. Here is the Hate List!
1. I hate the fake “ass protector” that they have in the restroom stales. That piece of paper is not protecting sh!T2.
2. I hate that every time that there is an end of the world movie, they always make the president Black.
3. I hate seeing abandon cars. Even more I hate to see abandon Power Wheels trucks, jeeps, and big wheels on the street.
4. I hate when someone tries to tell me that corn is a vegetable. Stop showing off your 3rd grade education Grandma. Corn is a starch!
5. I hate people that hate everything. You go to dinner, they hate the menu. You go out to the club, they hate the music. You introduce them to people, they are so shallow that they don’t give anyone a chance. They are always highlighting other people’s faults and insecurities. I hate those people.
6. I hate when I get a pimple on my lip. People tend to always come up with a lame herpes joke. Who am I kidding? Pimple on my lip. Ha! That is my cute name for my cold sore.
7. I hate people that are not responsible with their kids. Just the other day when my 5 year old was cutting the grass, his little friend comes outside barefoot with a sandwich in his hand. Can you believe that his parents let him come outside like that. WTF!
8. I hate my new neighbor. I spoke to him to welcome him to the neighborhood. I told him that I met his wife and that she was a lovely lady. He told me, “I don’t like you, your an F’ing liar. My wife is not a lovely lady, she a b!tch.
9. I hate to come home to an unmade bed. I just don’t like it.
10. I hate that my girlfriend smells like a condom every time she comes home late from work. I hate her for telling me that it is a new perfume she has. I said, “whats the name of it Trojan.” That chick act like I don’t know the smell of nonoxynol-9. Before I ever had sex I knew what a condom smelled like. Run and tell that home-girl!