Today’s Hate List is written, directed, and produced by a dude that will dazzle you with brillance and baffle you with bullsh!t. Now with that being said, I hate that I use to waste so much gas when I use to bring women back to my house due to the fact that I did not want her to know where I lived at or how to get there. I would make a 15 minute car ride take 45 minutes. I would first take the beltway, then take the back roads, then hop back on the beltway, and then park in the back of my house, so she would not know what the front of my house looked like. Oh did I mention that this was always done at night. I would have to wake them up when we finally arrived at my house. Then 30 minutes later back on the road again. That was such a waste of gas money. Here is the Hate List!
1. I hate T Pain’s song, “Make Love to a Rap Song. If you, as a woman, allow a dude to play rap music while he is making love to you, you are not making love, you are getting F@cked. Open your eyes and think of yourself as much more than a F@ck. Unless it is something by LL.Cool J, then that nucker may love you. Cause real thug ass nuckers like myself isn’t playing no LL.
2. I hate the name of the church that I rode by the other morning. It was called The Real Truth Ministry. Someone should have told them that the truth is real. The word truth does not need an adjective in front of it, especially the word Real!
3. I hate when I am driving and I put on my turn signal to get over, and the douche bag a few car lengths back, in the other lane, speed up so I cannot get over.
4. I also hate when I cut someone off and they pull up next to me. I don’t even dare look their way at first. I just keep both hands on the steering wheel and open my eyes really wide. And then I suddenly turn my head towards them with the most disturbing look. Then turn back around looking at the road.
5. I hate that strangers have the best advice.
6. I hate the cost of child care. That is why I choose to be a dead beat dad.
7. I hate my gay cousin and his belly button ring. The funny part is that his stomach is so big and the ring is sooooooooo little.
8. I hate that my son has no remorse for any of his comments pertaining to my lack of hair. He told me that, “One day I am going to invent something so your hair can grow back. That way daddy you can be handsome again.” Hence, second reason that I choose to be a dead beat dad.
9. I hate that my thoughts in my head are tougher than my actions. B!tch ass ness is what I call this. I may be thinking some tough ass sh!t, but the b!tch in me suppresses it.
10. I hate all actors, rappers, singers, and random people that make the statement, “I am the SH!T.” I hate the idea of comparing one’s self to fecal matter; it is setting a very low standard for yourself. When rappers use the term, they are saying, “I am the waste that is extracted from one’s ass. They are saying that their style or lyrical content is filled with any and everything that the body rejects. It is filled with a intolerable smell and provides no necessary nutrients. When they say, “I am the Shit”, they convey the message to the children and other listeners, that they are worthless, that they give relief to people when they are released from that persons life (or that person’s biles) and that they do not think very highly of themselves. Most of the music and actions of people today is really shitty anyway, so maybe I put to much thought into this one.