Often times you hear men accusing women of being “gold-diggers” and it is one of the number one reasons given by men that makes a woman undateable. I think there is a huge misconception of the said term and a distinct difference between a “gold-digger” and a “goal-digger”. So, with that said, I’ve conjured up some basic differences between the two. Gold-diggers and Goal-diggers may look similar in that they both tend to take excellent care of themselves, both date successful men, and both enjoy the finer things in life. However, this is where that old quote that mama used to always say, comes in handy: “Don’t judge a book, by it’s cover”.
- First thing she asks you: “What kind of car do you drive?”
- Doesn’t have a steady job.
- Yet, always has designer things.
- Always asks you to buy things for her, subtly and/or blatantly. May even boast about how other people buy her things.
- Constantly talks to you about what she needs to get done. (i.e. nails done, hair done, everything did)
- Never offers to pay for anything, not lunch, dinner, movie, nor starbucks.
- Loves the words “I”, “Me”, & “You Never”.
- Always planning ways to spend your money and has no concern with how you make it nor your intentions on saving it. i.e. “Honey, let’s go to Jamaica with your new bonus!”
These are just basic signs, but let’s also keep in mind that gold-diggers may have a steady job and they may even come from a family with money and don’t need a steady job…the issue at hand then becomes– you being their meal ticket to a better, stress-free, work-free life. If a woman asks you about the kind of car you drive before even knowing what it is that you did to obtain it… that is a clear sign that her goals are materialistic. She cares not what you do, but moreso what you can get and to what degree you can get it.
Signs she’s a GOAL-digger:
- First thing she asks you: “So, what do you do for a living?”
- Has a steady job and/or clear ambition and drive.
- Very well groomed, may have designer everything.
- Takes pride in her accomplishments and things she buys for herself.
- Offers to pay for lunch, dinner, movie, or starbucks.
- Loves the words “We”, “Our”, & “Together”.
- Very concerned with the money you make, but also equally concerned with your position and growth in your career, the goals you have set to bring in more money, and doesn’t mind planning a vacation with your money, but knows it isn’t the priority.
“Now I ain’t sayin she’s a gold-digger, but she ain’t messin with no broke-n*****.” as Kanye said- is really a good way to sum up the Goal-digger. Yes she may ask you what you do for a living within the first 10 minutes of the intial conversation, but don’t let this be a red flag. Women need stability like the air we breathe. The Gold-digger needs you in order to have the lifestyle she desires. The Goal-digger needs you to be an accent to the lifestyle she already maintains.
[Photos from Teyana Taylor’s photoshoot for the LookBook for Nous Sommes Jewelry].