I came up with this concept because in the past year I have met more single women than ever before. I found it interesting that when I asked these women “why are you single”, I received all sorts of responses like: men don’t understand me, he didn’t want to commit or he cheated, he was a liar, but at the end of all of the conversations that I have had with these women, it all summed up to this, “men are dogs” or “there aren’t any good men left”.
I think this is one of those touchy topics that we all, meaning men and women, can relate to. But I also think that this topic is a matter of opinion. Life is about learning. The more we live, the more we are going to learn, and experience is where lessons are taught. The reality is we all are not going to experience the same things, there are a lot of women who would disagree with “a good man is hard to find” simply because most of the men they dated have been good to them or they have found that special someone.
So do we call it luck or do these women just have skills? I’ll let you think about that statement. From a male’s perspective and judging from what I have heard from numerous of women, I will say it’s all about how you “choose” and are you making a “effort”.
I used the word “choose” meaning the type of men that women often date or attracted to. For a lot of women especially the younger ones, they are attracted to the wrong things from the beginning. Why keep playing with fire if you know you are going to get burned. If you date the same type of men and the results end up the same, meaning leaving you with your feelings hurt then why keep making the same mistakes. If you find yourself dating married men, or men who live illegal lives, or even men who have a history of cheating, and then wonder why you are single, then why keep dating these type of people? This particular example should be a “no brainer” but if it weren’t true I would not be discussing it.
The next example that I’m going to briefly talk about is “effort”. And what I mean by this is women of often complain about how they can’t meet a good man, but my question to those women, what are you doing about it? If you are one of those women who sits in the house every weekend or if you are that “girl friend” who never wants to hang out or go anywhere with your friends and then complain about how you can’t find a man, then clearly you are not making a strong enough “effort” to find a man.
A part of meeting new people is getting out and being social, I’m not saying that you have to hit the club every weekend, but you do have to have some sort of social life other than your job and family.
The goal is to better your chances so that you can find your match. These examples should help. Also keep in mind that these examples don’t apply to everyone. I just wanted to take a little pressure off those good men that are responsible and who do know how to treat women. Some men are often over looked or even criticized because of what somebody else has done in the past.
This message is to those women who really need a reality check because there are a lot of good men out there waiting for you and sometimes the problem isn’t necessarily the man’s fault, but rather it just might be you.
Chris Hicks is the author of Think Volume 1, which is a step by step guide, geared towards younger people, that illustrates all of the steps on how dating should turn into a monogamist relationship which should lead to love and ultimately marriage.