Analysis for the 2016 Celebrity All-Star Game

It’s almost that time of year again. It’s the reason little boys and girls dream of becoming movie stars. It’s why people work tirelessly at their craft day after day in the hopes of one day becoming famous for it. It’s why actors and actresses are out there right now taking any role they can in hopes of one day hitting it big. It’s why there are kids shooting hoops every night until the sun goes down, so that one day they can play in the NBA, and then retire from the NBA, and then play in the CELEBRITY ALL-STAR GAME.

Yes, the celebrity All-Star game, the part of NBA All-Star Weekend that is easiest to talk your girlfriend into watching because that one actor from Grey’s anatomy or Scandal or something is in it.

Modestly described, it’s the most entertaining thing that will happen on your television all year. Every February, a colorful collection of stars and people you kind of recognize from something, gather to play the best sport in the world.

This year with the weekend being hosted in Toronto, they have put a special twist on the event by making it USA vs Canada which should result in some entertaining friendly competition.

They have just announced the coaches and rosters, which almost always end up growing before the game takes place, but we’ll take a look at how the two teams stack up right now.

TEAM USA

Head Coach: Kevin Hart

Jason Sudeikis

Michael B. Jordan

Anthony Anderson

Bryshere “Yazz” Gray

Nick Cannon

Chauncey Billups

Muggsy Bogues

Marc Lasry

Elena Delle Donne

Of course, the biggest story here is that four-time MVP Kevin Hart has exchanged the sneakers for a clipboard. His wild antics in the past have earned him the love of the fans but he will look to pass the torch this year, to who I can only assume will be Jason Sudeikis. His more understated comedic style will likely not garner the same fan vote of his coach but he looks like he played some ball in high school and he’s really into sneaker collecting so I’m looking at him to be a surprise breakout.

Michael B. Jordan is a straight baller but it will be interesting to see if his role in Creed added too much muscle that will end up being detrimental to his game.

Nick Cannon is terrible at basketball and I don’t know who keeps inviting him back every year. Mr. Big Shot will be a huge addition of course and hopefully his game has kept up as well as his suit game on ESPN.

Muggsy Bogues will undoubtedly be the most entertaining player to watch. The embodiment of the argument against saying “I was too short to play basketball”, Muggsy is truly an inspiration that transcends basketball.

Elena Delle Donne is easily the best player in the entire competition and will look to provide plenty of emasculating plays.

TEAM CANADA

Head Coach: Aubrey Graham

Assistant Coaches: Steve Nash, Jose Bautista

Stephan James

Win Butler

Drew and Jonathan Scott

Milos Raonic

Kris Wu

Tracy McGrady

Rick Fox

Natalie Achonwa

Of course Aubrey, Canadian teen drama actor who occasionally dabbles in rapping, commonly known as Drake was the obvious choice to lead the Canadian team into battle. I’m not sure how they’ll work his ridiculous dancing in hotline bling into the event but that is my number one prediction.

The on-court results from the coaching staff will come from Steve Nash, who figured out a way to make MVP Steph Curry from last year look like a role player in comparison to this year’s Steph Curry, so he’s probably a wizard.

Jose Bautista will hit a homerun with something at some point and then flip his bat through the roof of the building.

Tennis player Milos Raonic will be interesting to see how elite tennis athleticism translates to the hardwood.

Rick Fox undoubtedly still has game because just look at the man.

Natalie Acho… OH MY GOD DID THAT SAY TRACY MCGRADY!?!? Yeah game over. I assume T-Mac gave up on his promising minor league pitching career and is set to take his rightful throne as the greatest celebrity all-star game player of all time. I don’t see a situation where he doesn’t torch everyone on the court and I believe he’ll be the determining factor in the game.

Assuming Drake, Steve, and Jose are coaching to win and not giving the “Property Brothers” too much court time.

Overall this should be one of the better games in the recent years. Tune in Friday, Feb. 12 at 7 p.m. ET to see the two squads face off in a battle of the stars.