Love and friendship can be a very complicated thing. We’d like to pretend that relationships are 50/50 but we all know that it’s untrue. In fact, in any relationship, the balance may be more 60/40 and sometimes even 70/30.
Typically, there is always someone who wants it more, is more willing to say I’m sorry first, more willing to work on problems. Are you being taken for granted by those who claim to care for you?
It is rare that two people meet and come to the table with equitable efforts, finances or even time. In the worse relationships concessions are made until one person feels overwhelmed and unappreciated Sadly, it’s not uncommon for a person to stay in a relationship where they feel undervalued or taken for granted. It’s not even uncommon for someone to stay in a relationship where they feel worthless and unworthy of their partner.
Too many people attempt to jump through invisible hoops to please someone who will never be pleased with them, sometimes they aren’t even pleased with themselves.
Have you been giving too much to someone who doesn’t appreciate it? Don’t be ashamed to admit it to yourself, we all have undervalued our worth at one point in time. Just because we have allowed someone to treat us less than in the past does not mean we have to continue that behavior. Do you think you’re being undervalued and taken for granted?
Here are 5 ways you can tell if you’re being taken for granted in your relationships.
Are you always the first to call or reach out?
It’s important to notice if you’re the person who always initiates contact with a friend or lover. No matter how busy someone is, if you are important to them they will make time. Do not fall for the “was caught up” or “too busy” lines. Do not make anyone a priority in your life who has not done the same for you.
Does this person take interest in your hobbies and interests?
Are you spending time with someone who likes to “Netflix and chill” instead of going out? Is it someone who loves to talk about themselves but rarely seems to hear your problems? When you speak do you feel like they are listening and care about the things that matter to you? How often does your friend or lover suggest things for you to do together that align with your core interests and values? If the time you spend with a person is filled with them selfishly talking about themselves or you two doing things they enjoy, while ignoring your interests, get out. You’re more than a tag along or someone to keep them company. You have hobbies and interests too and someone who values you would want to listen to you and explore what you find enjoyable.
Do you have that friend/lover who is always looking to you to make things comfortable for them?
If you cook for the two of you, do they do the dishes? If you invite them over are they constantly asking you to wait on them like a servant. Do they always need a ride, a babysitter or financial assistance? How often does this person offer to do small things for you just because? Can you call them when you’re in a bind? If you have a friend who calls you to bail them out of trouble all the time and when around, wants to be pampered, remind them you’re not a maid nor chauffeur. If you can’t call them in a bind to do the very things they ask of you, drop them. You deserve better relationships.
Can you take them at their word?
This is very important and probably should have been number one on the list. People who undervalue you and your worth may lie to you. Many will find it easier to tell you a lie that keeps you in a place of doubt, questioning yourself and your place in their life, than tell you a truth that will empower you to move on. There are narcissistic people in this world who could care less who they hurt with their lies as long as their needs are met. Beware of these type people. They will use and abuse your heart and relationships, they will drain you mentally. If you’re dealing with someone who you constantly have to question, get out. It isn’t worth and they don’t respect you.
Does this person put you down?
Does your lover or friend say mean things to you? When you’re having a bad day, do they try to encourage and uplift you or are they there kicking you while down? There are some who prey on people who enjoy beating others done mentally and emotionally. They love playing mind games, strong people are a challenge to them, they revel in the games they play in an attempt to break them down. Does your friend or lover tell you you’re useless or worthless? Do they ever say no one else will ever want you? Are you subjected to mean jokes and ridicule? This person has no respect for you and doesn’t care about you, get out.
It’s not easy to walk out of a bad situation but it’s necessary. We can’t allow other people and their issues to destroy us. WE get so attached to another individual and s caught up in not being alone, we tend to forget there are literally billions of people in the world. Don’t allow yourself to spend your life around negative, mean-spirited, ungrateful people. You’re amazing and you deserve to be surrounded by people who know it. Stop cheating yourself.
Thinker, Avid Reader, Couch Potato. Sapphire Hill is a writer from Baltimore Maryland who loves to delve deeper into the whys of everything. Staff writer for 86 Blvd and Badd Magazine. Blogger and talent promoter for Sapphire Spotlight On Talent.