Asking someone out is the first step for a serious relationship. No matter how long you know a person you like, you are going nowhere until one of you makes that first step. Some people find it pretty easy to ask someone out but others have some understandable anxieties. It may be because of a lack of experience, social anxieties, etc. But if you have some of those, it would be pretty bad to miss the chance of dating someone you really like, right?
If you are one of those people who struggle with asking someone on a date it would probably be a good idea to follow some kind of a plan. Let’s walk through some pretty basic things you want to focus on if you like a person but don’t know how to ask someone on a date.
1. Don’t Overthink It.
Asking someone out is one of those things where you can really try too hard for your own good. I think it’s better to leave the theatricalities for a more appropriate occasion, like when you’ll decide to pop the question or something like that. So, no mariachi bands, just be casual about asking a person out. This stage is obviously important to you (and hopefully for another person) but don’t be overly dramatic.
2. Find a Common Ground.
You might think that finding common ground is an important part of a conversation with people you’ve just met or someone you are debating and are looking for some sort of a consensus. That’s mostly true but it also works with people you already know.
There are a lot of advice about how to find common ground and why that is important. It would help you to stay connected, better understand the mood and move the conversation to the perfect point to ask a person out.
3. Pick Right First Date Activity.
A big portion of the issue is not just how to ask someone out, but where to ask them out, what to do on a date, etc. That completely depends on your common interests. If you know that the other person likes to just relax and talk – you go to a restaurant, movies, theatre, etc. depending on your tastes.
But if the person you want to ask out like a more active leisure here is a list of good ideas for a first date. And don’t be afraid to experiment a bit yourself. If you are not completely opposed to the idea of going to, say, climbing gym, go for it. Maybe that will become something you will enjoy doing for the rest of your lives together.
3. Digitally or In-Person?
Another common question about how to ask someone out is should you do it via a message, a phone call or in person. It depends on the specific situation but if you can do it in person – do it in person. I know that modern communications are becoming digital more and more but we are still human and the unique connection we experience when we talk to each other in person isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Even if you are going to do it via a video chat it’s still not the same. You can’t hold a person’s hand with a smartphone, right? And there’s usually too much of digital conversations in our lives as it is. Why don’t we do at least some important conversations in person?
The only exception to this is if you are only communicating with another person online. If you met someone on DoULike.com and you have only chatted with that person, it’s probably not the best idea to ask them to meet you just to ask them to go out. But maybe a phone call will still be better.
4. Be Brave.
I know it sounds like a cheap thing to say. Or maybe rather an “easier said than done” thing. But there’s no way around this. No matter how much time you spend on planning, no matter how much you prepare, you still have to make that final leap if you follow the previous steps it may be easier to finally ask someone out, but that thing you must do just in your mind. Finding common ground, sharing information, talking, joking and all that other stuff depends on both of you. On your desire to communicate your thoughts, connect with people. But asking someone out is something you alone must decide to do. There are methods to help you muster enough courage for public talking, meeting strangers and also making big steps in relationships. Following the previous steps may help you. Finding similar interests, building the non-romantic relationship will get you closer to people and it will be easier to start more serious conversations.
Asking someone out might be a big and somewhat threatening thing even for people who are usually good with social stuff. It’s completely understandable, as romance does some weird things to our minds. Following these 5 easy steps will help you to conquer your fears and prepare for asking that particular question.