Lil Nas X has achieved near-unprecedented success in his brief career in the music industry, but that doesn’t mean the young rapper is without doubt or disappointment. Nas recalled a low point in a recent cover story with British GQ after his single “Holiday” didn’t perform as well as he had hoped. Nas told GQ that he was so distraught that he booked a hotel room just to process his grief, even crying about his feelings.
“I was seeing some nice things,” he told GQ. “But I was seeing a lot of f*cking negativity too. And I was like, ‘Oh sh*t. This is not even in the top 200. Oh god. What the f*ck did I do wrong?”
He also told his manager to postpone a rehearsal for an episode of Holiday Plays, a Christmas special starring Miley Cyrus, scheduled for the next day.
“I told my manager, ‘I don’t want to do it,” he continued. “‘Let’s cancel it. Let’s get rid of it. There’s no point. Nobody’s really f*cking with this song.’ I was crying. I was upset with myself. I felt like I’d… failed myself, almost. I was crying like a crazy person. You know one of those times where you cry so hard your f*ckin head hurts? It was like that.”
He had no idea that the success of “Montero” was just around the corner, even though more drama was on the way. I suppose the life of a pop star/rapper is never really peaceful. And, while he was originally envious of Billie Eilish for winning a Grammy over him, he’s now moved on. The best part is the progress!