Sex is supposed to be fun, but it should also be safe and mutually agreed upon. By definition, sexual consent is an agreement between people to participate in sexual acts. There should be no ambiguity, and it should be emphasized throughout the play. These five responses are not kinds of consent, just to be clear.
a person who is unable to consent
Someone under the legal age, drunk, or heavily under the influence of drugs or alcohol cannot give consent. It makes no difference if they’ve answered “yes” or “no.” Someone who is stumbling and slurring their speech is not in the right frame of mind to offer explicit consent, and this should be taken into account.
Disengaged
A mute, disinterested, or nonresponsive partner is not consenting. A lack of response can sometimes be interpreted as a response, and this one is informing you that something is wrong and you should stop.
Yes, I’m convinced.
You don’t have consent if you have to use guilt, coercion, or ask repeatedly. It shouldn’t be necessary to persuade someone to have sex with you. Consent is not truly consent if it is offered out of fear or guilt. It’s highly possible that you’ve made the other participant feel uncomfortable and forced them to agree to what you’re asking.
Whether you’re married or in a relationship,
You do not need to obtain consent just because the other participant is in a relationship with you. Consent is not something that can be taken for granted. Your husband or wife has the right to say no, and that right should be respected.
Using appearance as a criterion
Someone’s appearance, attire, or occupation does not imply that they desire to have sex with you. Maybe she wore that skin-tight little skirt because she knew it would show off her legs, not because she wanted to say, “Yes, I want you, random man at the bar, to take me home and have your way with me.” Inferring that your intended agreed based on these conditions is not only incorrect, but also demonstrates masculine sexism and entitlement rather than a woman’s discernment.
Consent checkpoints
Just because someone is okay with engaging in certain acts with you, does not mean they are okay with others. It is also important to note that consent can be withdrawn at any point. Just because someone comes over to your house doesn’t mean they want to have sex. Just because someone is kissing you doesn’t mean take their pants off. Always make sure your partner is comfortable and is freely willing without compromise.
