Mitski performed at Summerstage in Central Park in New York City on September 7, 2019, declaring it to be her “final show indefinitely.” After announcing the show, she clarified, “Y’all, I’m not quitting music!” Me? Is it possible to turn off the music? I’ve been on nonstop tour for over 5 years, haven’t had a place to reside during that period, and I’m afraid that unless I step away soon, my self-worth/identity will become overly reliant on continuing in the game, in the perpetual churn.”
Mitski did, however, intend to leave the music industry, as she revealed in a recent Rolling Stone profile.
“I was thinking this was the last show I would perform ever, and then I would quit and find another life,” Mitski said. She also said of the performance, “It was beautiful. I performed, and I remembered how much I loved it. And I remember walking offstage, and I immediately started crying. Like, ‘What have I done?’”
Lucy Dacus opened the night, and Rolling Stone interviewed her about it. “I asked her, ‘How do you feel,’ and the first thing she answered was, ‘Oh, I’ve made a tremendous mistake,’ and I felt a shade of horror for her,” Dacus added.
“This is what really made me stop,” Mitski said of the pressures of celebrity, adding, “This is what really made me quit.” I imagined a future self who would release songs in order to keep the machine going. “I guess celebrity is relative,” she added, “and that really worried me.” There’s Taylor Swift celebrity, and then there’s celebrity in the local DIY scene. How can I keep integrity in the performance, which is the actual battle for me in getting bigger? In an 8,000-capacity venue, how can I ensure that the audience experience remains intimate and emotional? Onstage, how can I avoid using dazzling pyrotechnics? Because I don’t want my act to be about that — I want people to come into a room with me and have an experience, then leave having learned something new.”
Of course, Mitski has since gotten back on the horse, as she has a new album, Laurel Hell, on the way in 2022.
