This weeks hate list is brought to you on behalf of Lebron James. I hate this whole situation that was created for Lebron James. I hate that the media created this scenario and then soon after they made it seem like Lebron was selfish and self centered. Duh!, What 25 year old athlete would not choose pretty woman and sunshine over warehouses and women that don’t shave their chin hair? I hate the people of Cleveland for their piss poor behavior after he made his decision. Come on flipping over cars, burning jerseys and crying. He is just a man, no more, no less. I hate that I feel like Dan Gilbert had the right to say what he did. If someone just cost-ed you hundreds of millions of dollars you too would call them a quitter. I hate Dan Gilbert for thinking that he made Lebron the superstar he is today. I hate that if he broke his damn ankle and could not play anymore none of your ass would give a damn about Lebron. I hate that Cleveland fans are not blaming Delonta West. Most of all I hate that we are more concerned about where a basketball player is going and not about the spies next door. Not about the failure of our society. Not about the oil crisis that will ruin the ecosystem for years to come. Not about the spiritual war taking place within ourselves. Wake up people Lebron ass is not that important to us, but he is to his family. Here is the Hate List!
1. I hate that Erykah Badu is the Black Angelina Jolie. It is me but they look kinda alike. Maybe not.
2. I hate interracial relationships. I don’t understand how black women can hook up with white men. What’s that you say?, Black man and white women, that my friend is what I call black privilege. This is our form of reparation. Black Men stand up.
3. I hate getting a nail in my tire. This not a gay reference. Let me rephrase that. I hate when I discover that there is a nail in my tire. Ok, I quit.
4. I hate the Health Department’s “Notice of Closing” on the front door of my favorite resturaunt.
5. I hate the women in Rite Aid’s that were laughing at the hair care products for balding men. I hate myself for running up to them and yelling “you little cunts there is nothing funny about male pattern baldness. I hope when you get older the dry season of an African famine rains upon your vagina.” ‘
6. I hate when white people greet me and say,” Hey guy” or “hey you” or “you, you, you”. I hate that white people have a tendency of saying you’s. You’s guys are crazy. Where are you’s going. What the F@ck is a You’s
7. I hate seeing fat people cry about being fat. You can lose weight, anything is possible. This is America Baby!
8. I hate Fraternities and sororities. I hate the biological brother and sister that I have, who did not stomp the yard, but stomp my ass. Why the hell would I want 3 million more brothers and sister that make me do dumb shit to be down with them. My hazing took place as a child, I am not doing that shit again.
9. I hate that most kids will never know the joys of playing karate in the dark. It goes as follows, “Yo, cut off the lights” BLUE FLASH, BLUE FLASH, BLUE FLASH, followed by crying, followed lights coming on, followed by, “What the hell ya’ll doing with them damn lights off.” followed by ass beating for everyone involved except the crying ass punk holding his bloody eye. Childhood got to love it. Maybe that was just my house.
10. I hate that my father is Jewish, my mother Catholic, grandmother Baptist, and my grandfather Muslim. I hate that every morning I had to wake up and pray to the east while holding a rosary and wearing a Yamaka. And each prayer started off with “Oh Ah Yes Lord.”