Today’s Hate List comes from my feelings towards stupid “M” “F” ing vacation gifts. I hate when someone goes on vacation and beings me back a gift that I find worthless and insulting. I once received sand in a bottle. DID YOU “F” ING HEAR ME! SAND IN A “F” ING BOTTLE. I hate that when you saw this damn gift you “f”ing thought about me. W!T!F! WTF am I going to do with sand in a “F” ing bottle. I hate that I have to pretend to like that damn wack ass sorry Motherfrecking gift. I hate that this dumbass sh!T made the Hate List. You could have brought me back a T Shirt with skeletons having sex in every position. You could have hand delivered a postcard that you forget to mail. You could have not got me anything at all. I don’t want to seem un grape ful, but MOM KEEP THOSE DUMBASS GIFTS FOR YOU GRANDCHILDREN. They will appreciate those dumb F@cking gift. Sand in a F@Cking bottle. Here is the Hate List! P.s Adam thanks for the African Mask. That was pretty cool.
1. I hate that I once received sand in f@cking bottle as a gift from someone that went on vacation. So when I go on vacation next week expect a gift from me. Dirt in a F@cking soup can. Let’s see how you will like that dumb sh!t.
2. I hate that people think that snitching is a bad thing. I will tell on that ass. F@ck jail and F@ck you for thinking that I won’t tell on that ass. My trade is being a punk ass punk and a unpredictable habitual bitch ass snitching ass dude.
3. I hate that I know what women want. ME! I hate that after I just typed that, I licked my index finger and pinky finger then placed them between my eyebrows in slid them in opposite directions. Just to prove that I am cool and sexy. I hate that you just called me stupid for typing this.
4. I hate seeing people on the corner bagging for money. I hate when it is a little league team trying to collect money to get new uniforms or for them to get money to make it to an out of state touranment. I hate the one coach that I watched on the corner just hand the kid a bucket and told him to go ask for money. I wish that their coach would have them selling somethinginstead of bumming for money. The point of sports is to teach kids that nothing comes free and that hard work and dedication pays off. By havingthem out there bumming for money you are teachingthem that people will give them shit if their story is good enough. Cut that shit out. Sell some candy or sodas, and stop bumming for money. Teaching kids hardwork will save our future.
5. I hate that I rolled the window up on a little kid who was asking me for money so that his team can go to Florida and play for the National Championship. Stop being a “F” ing BUM!
6. I hate that damn near everything is made in China.
7. I hate athletes that start off their sentences in their post game interview with “Um”. I hate people that start off their explanation of anything with “What had happen was”.
8. I hate obituary t-shirts. Just remember me, don’t put me on a t-shirt. I hate that. I hate seeing people with those shirts on 5 years after the person died. I hate seeing obituaries on the dashboard of cars. The sun faded it and now it is a blank piece of paper.
9. I hate the person that is reading who is trying to figure out what don’t I hate. Read the Love List you smuck face bastard.
10. I hate when I am with my lady, Yes I said my lady. I hate when I am with my lady and I see a women with a really nice body. I hate that I have to pretend that I don’t see her. I hate trying to look at her out of the corner of my eye. (you know how hard that shit is.) I hate that I can never really get a good look at her out of the corner of my eye. I hate that I have to just get a really good look at her then tell my Lady, “Baby, will you look at what the hell she has on. She is a damn mess.” Inside my head (pick one) I am saying GOT DAMN LOOK AT HER ASS!