The minute I knew my relationship was going south was the minute my boyfriend made me feel like I was an Inconvenience. He was at his work leaving party and I was back home, visiting family. We’d barely spoken all day, barely spoken all week actually. Between the long-distance and his work schedule, it meant we barely had time to snapchat never mind actually chat. He’d been working all day and had already hung up mid phone call to order some takeaway dinner. I was getting slightly agitated with the lack of contact but when he refused point blank to give me a call back I was ready to burst into tears.
The result? I felt like I was pestering my own boyfriend and it really hurt.
So I took a step back. I decided to pause myself. Here I was at home, staring at my phone, obsessing over iMessages read receipts and counting the minutes it should have taken him to reply by now. He had hurt my feelings and I wasn’t happy with how the evening was going. It had only gone 7pm, just one drink down and already we seemed to be fighting. Then the final blow came. He sent me one cold and chest stabbing text after I’d asked him to call me back when he next could: “I’m with everyone from work, it’s my leaving drinks, I’ll phone you tomorrow. Don’t ruin it.”
Ruin it? I didn’t realise your girlfriend wanting to talk to you was such a terrible thing, I didn’t realise her wanting to check that you were okay about your last day was such a bad thing. I hadn’t realised the guilt your girlfriend felt over not being there to support you in person as you now faced unemployment was so godforsaken awful.
Because it wasn’t. I hadn’t been clingy. We’d only sent 4 text messages that day. Yet still there I was feeling like some kind of life ruining stalker to the man who supposedly loved me.
So what did I do? I turned my f**king phone off. No one and I repeat no one should make you feel like you are an inconvenience to them and if they do, you should swiftly escort them to the door.
If They Care, They Will Make The Time
I realised that no matter what the circumstances are if someone truly cares and appreciates you, they will make the time for you. It doesn’t take any effort to binge watch your favourite tv show, why? Because you enjoy it. So why should it feel like a task or a chore to phone your significant other? It shouldn’t. You should enjoy speaking to them, if you don’t, then you shouldn’t be with them. It’s as simple as that.
You Deserve More
You deserve more than to feel insignificant. No one who loves you will put you down and make you feel worthless. You deserve to be treated with nothing but respect. To be appreciated and truly valued for the person that you are. If someone is making you feel this way, it is their fault and not yours.
You should know your own self-worth. Do not settle for anything less than you deserve. If you are dedicating all your time and effort to someone, you shouldn’t settle for anything less than that in return. Respect yourself enough to realise you don’t have to tolerate that type of behaviour. Someone should feel privileged that you are giving them your time and if they don’t, then they aren’t worthy of it.
It’s easier said than done, but, once someone stops appreciating you and makes you feel like you aren’t important. That’s when you need to step back. Reevaluate the situation and decide if you want to continue feeling like an inconvenience for the rest of your life. Because you don’t have to.